Mental Health - Stop Look Listen

Hi, I’m Kathryn and welcome to Stop, Look, Listen and today, I want to talk about how we can speak better to each other when it comes to things like our mental health.

Now, I come from the insurance world and whether or not it’s something to do with my work or whether or not it’s to do with speaking to a family member or friends, I think the latest listening tips from the Samaritans known as the Shush listening tips are a really good step forward.

So the first thing that they say to do is to show that you care. So, don’t play on your phone. Keep eye contact and really make sure the person knows that you’re paying attention to them.

And, it’s really difficult because sometimes it’s a really thin line in between having empathy with somebody and then, maybe stepping over that line and starting to take over the conversation yourself.

The next thing is to have patience is been a really big, brave step for somebody to come and talk to you and to have the confidence to confide in you.

And, even though they’ve took that step, it can still be a little bit scary. So, don’t be pushy. Give them time to just speak at the pace that they’re comfortable with.

Trying to use open questions so things like tell me more and how are feeling. They’re the types of questions that are going to get people to stop and think and reflex about how they actually are feeling. And, they’ll just come back with a yes or no answer.

The important thing then is to say things back. You know, repeat what somebody said to you. Make sure you’ve understood what they want to say and that also gives the person comfort knowing that you have paid attention to them, and that they can then make sure that what they’ve tried to convey to you in their message, has actually been sort of received properly.

And, the last one is to have courage and I struggle with this one the most because it’s having courage with silence which I really struggle with.

As soon as it starts, I sort of go bleh and I just want to keep on talking. But it’s in those special moments of silence that somebody can really have that moment, that sort of helps them to step forward with what they’re feeling, and you don’t want to break that cycle in them.

If you need to if you feel someone needs a bit more support, then do direct them to all the Samaritans or someone at the N-H-S and if you think somebody is at risk of harming themselves or somebody else, do call 999.